I just made out with a guy for $7.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
