you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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