I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
