I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
