Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
she pinky promised me she was 18
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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