I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
