i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
did i just pee glitter
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize
