There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize