you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
