I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
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