when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
