i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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