How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Randomize
