Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
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