How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Randomize
