i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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