If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
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