My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
