This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
