The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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