I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
