In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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