Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Randomize