She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Floor bacon is actually really good
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
