a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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