Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Randomize
