It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
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