That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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