you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize