shes about as inviting as chlamydia
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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