That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
