Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Naked Twister starts at high noon
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I lost the right to judge tonight
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
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