Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
