Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Randomize
