Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Randomize
