so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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