Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
That accounts for only three of the penises
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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