so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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