whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
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