So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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