would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
