We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
