Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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