I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
