I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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