I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Randomize
