its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
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