I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Success! We fucked roommates!
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
