He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
