Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
