I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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