glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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