Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
