"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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