:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
If I die, sorry about rent.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
