i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Randomize