Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
