I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
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