was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
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