Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
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