btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
