She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I just gift wrapped bread.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
