so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
