just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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