Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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