A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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