Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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