i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize