its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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