:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
