You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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