Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Vodka?
Forever.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
