Sponge bath it is.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Randomize
