we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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