The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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