I'm going to jail i love you
i just wanna soil my oats bro
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
