The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Randomize
