i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
