I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
