and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Randomize
