she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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