What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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