Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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