I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
