She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
