Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
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