No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
