You work out of a Hotel?
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
