so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
