Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
