I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Randomize
