The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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