Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(586): View more from Michigan

Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up

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(845): View more from New York

First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...

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(773): View more from Illinois

She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs

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(801): View more from Utah

So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito

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(305): View more from Florida

he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!

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(818): View more from California

we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame

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(912): View more from Georgia

I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.

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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day

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