chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
